First Impressions

Our eyes are the first and most dominant sense that we use. How we perceive someone and the first impression we get is defined by what we see and our own personal experiences. Each day people are measured up and broken down by their actions, voice, appearance, and attitude. In work we do the same thing day after day to confirm our original evaluations of our peers, managers, and customers. Small variances can make the difference if we trust and respect someone, or if we disregard anything they say as a lie and misleading.

 

“John left the office to get some stationery. He walked out into the sun-filled street, basking in the sun as he walked. John entered the store which was full of people. John talked with an acquaintance while he waited for the clerk to catch his eye. On his way out, he stopped to chat with a friend who was just coming into the store. On his way back to the office he met a girl who he had been introduced to the other night. They talked for a short while, and then John continued his trip back to the office” (Clark, 1998).

In this instance I could take 2 different first impressions. First I view him as confident, social, and a people pleaser. He is easy to talk to and get along with as well as able to gain trust and respect easily. He makes sure that each person that encounters him is happy and feels important because he takes time with each one. He also enjoys the little things like the sunshine. He gives off the impression that you would want to share with him your thoughts, ideas, or even your concerns, and you would be met with confidentiality and the ability to brainstorm. I could not see this person and being critical or mean to anyone.

The second impression that I could gather from this is that he is egotistical and selfish. He thinks that everyone needs to give him their time and he likes to be the center of attention. He could care less with what you think and is only concerned with the fact that you listen to what he has to say. Your ideas would be little in comparison, but he feeds on the weak minded that thrive to bask in his bubbles shadow. This “John” would think the sun shines just for him, and he can do no wrong or ever be incorrect about anything. As such this would mean that I would not trust him, but there still seems to be that air of respect that surrounds him. Even though he is self-centered he still exudes a confidence that many still would idealize. One could say that this may be more in line with what we would like to see in a leader than the other side of the spectrum. Take this “Johns” first impression for an example.

“After work, John left the office alone. Leaving the office, he started on his long walk home. The street was brilliantly filled with sunshine. John walked down the street on the shady side. Coming down the street towards him, he saw the pretty girl whom he had met on the previous evening. John crossed the street and entered a bar. The bar was crowded with people, and he noticed a few familiar faces. John waited quietly until the bartender caught his eye and then gave his order. Taking his drink, he sat down at a side table. When he had finished his drink he went home” (Clark, 1998).

In this instance you can also take 2 impressions from the statement. First he seems awkward and shy. He dislikes interaction and does not wish to contribute to the discussion. He is the person that always agrees with whatever anyone says so the meeting or discussion can be over. He does not like conflict or small chat. He seems to still want to be a part of the team, but sit on the sidelines and never get called into play. He goes to the bar, which a true introvert would not have done as there are too many people, so he craves attention in some ways. He does not want to make a fuss or push his way towards any goals. He will get walked on by anyone that sees he is such an easy target.

On the other hand he could be the great thinker. He could be so brilliant that small talk eludes him. He likes to make sure he socializes but he does not require himself to actually interact. He is the silent thinker that creates grand ideas, and has no social outlets. People admire him, but he does not understand why. He assumes all people think like he does, and probably has pretty dry humor. He would get along more with people of his stature and mind set, as long as they were men. Women are an equation that he could never solve. Until he finds a brainiac like him he will be alone in his world; lost to his thoughts and his dreams. He is easily trusted but not easily understood. He is admired by people who understand him and his work. His life will live on long after he is dead.

In each model you can see the ways people can be perceived. If I read them in reverse I would not see “John” in any different light as I see both experiences as separate yet equal, not one in the same. Every time you meet someone that is another chance for you to change the way they look at you and what they think about you. How quickly do we judge someone that we have known for years if they do some thing that we think is out of their character, or not what we “expected”? People will always be able to impress themselves on us in many different ways; it is up to us to decide how we choose to see them.